Eu aprendi a escrever títulos jogando RPG

Vejam bem. Um psicopata que escreve MUITO bem escreveu 1001 frases para dizer a mesma coisa. Usou o universo de uns 4 jogos de RPG de mesa como base, então, se você nunca jogou, vai entender muito pouco. Mas se jogou, vai chegar a enjoar de ver frases engraçadas.

São 1001 frases que um jogador insuportável aprendeu que não deve fazer nem propor, enquanto estiver jogando.

Under ‘Religion’ I cannot put ‘Xenu’.
The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
Cannot start a Cthuhlu character with a pre-existing hatred of books, altars and cutlery.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha.
My monk’s battlecry is not “Round 1: Fight!”
I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again.
The titles “Viking” and “Obstretrician” are mutually exclusive.
I am forbidden to see when halflings or gnomes bounce higher.
When a virgin sacrifice is demanded I will not look knowingly at the paladin, netrunner or Hermetic.
I will not try to skip to the main boss dressed like a singing telegram.
My marital status does not affect in anyway my fear checks.
Not allowed to convince the entire party to base the group only off Gary Oldman characters.
There is no ‘accidentally’ slipping a Smite Evil into a pillow fight.
The party does not need to know about the time I woke up duct taped to the back of a Drow Matron Mother.
I can’t have a magic item I can’t request with a straight face.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot play a Dire Gummi Bear.
I can’t use audible glamour to trick the cleric into building an ark.
Arguments cannot end with the statement ‘Alright, we’ll settle this like penguins!’
Cannot wish for the party to have common sense. Even the wish spell has its limits.
My Paladin will stop referring to her detect evil power as Evildar.
My vampire hunter does not take the “un” out of “undead”
Mordenkainen’s Dysfunctional Family is not a real spell.
There is no conspiracy to write out the gnome’s contribution to the Fellowship of the Ring.
No “accidentally” crosswiring the X-Wing’s fire control and ejection seat switches.
It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig.

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